On Being Special

You look at yourself in the mirror and notice the imperfections that stare back. Some days they seem more minute. Other days show them as loud leads in a play, hollering for everyone’s attention. 

As you grow up, the loudest imperfections retreat from the mirror’s view. They come to inhabit parts of your mind instead. No longer do you care for the size of a pore or the dulled color of a strand of hair. 

At 25, what worries you– what threatens to stop you in your tracks–that comes from within.

I once felt like I had a path lit for me by the stars. That my purpose on this earth was to be impactful and loved for it. 

Is it just me or do we all feel like we meant to be special? That we were born to grow up and then celebrated for being alive. This is a delusion, to be true. No one garners recognition only from taking up space. 

I used to feel like that. That I needed praise for showing up and sharing my “beautiful” thoughts with others. As if what I had to say was so profound.

Here’s the thing, no one cares much about what the makeup of your head looks like. They have little time to trifle with such things. You must provide them with something beyond a prized view at your inner workings.

If you can’t, then do not expect mercy from your peers. And when that shunning silence begins to break way to your own inner critic, take it as a sign. 

Yes, we all have imperfections. We all must grow up to watch the idea of what makes us special change to fit into our own personal narrative. 

As our hair grays and our pores widen, we must fight off the idea that we will idle on in a self-loathing slump. That we can find a way to make an impact whilst ignoring the reputation that comes along with it.  

That these little things will grow to define us. That we must work hard to find what fulfills us. 

That imperfections are ok, inside and out. 

It’s a battle, it is. Some days will be good and others won’t be. Just make sure to look back and enjoy it all for what it was.

Because at the end of the day, we are indeed special. If only to ourselves. By asserting that, a path will show itself. And the voices and eyes that curse you from within will no longer have a thing to say about it.