Why Am I So Obsessed With Coronavirus?

A thought refuses to leave the forefront of my mind. 

Its color filters my perception of everything. Taints my interaction with my environment. I cannot see past it– yearn to consume more content relating to it. Info on a simple but contagious disease.

My mind preoccupies itself with coronavirus. Though fear remains far removed from the equation. 

By all accounts, I am not worried of corona’s progression. This is a disease like many others: mild for most, deadly for some, invisible to all. It’s standard fare. This is what I tell myself. Over and over and over.

I sit here in New York City. I consume word after word of COVID-19 mania like it’s reality TV. I cannot get enough of the hysteria and paranoia the media churns out by the hour. This invisible tsunami is live entertainment.

I question my intentions with wanting to know everything about this disease. I question my reasons behind bringing it up in conversation. About why I speak of it with a wryness about me, as if I’m in on the joke. 

How is this the reaction fitting for a disease causing global panic, I wonder. Why am I making mountains out of mole hills without committing to treating the mole hills as such, I wonder further. 

My fascination must stem from something. I tell people the progression of coronavirus is like my Super Bowl. Logic is not a part of what makes the pandemic entertaining. The spectacle lends the edge-of-my-seat excitement I so wish for in lieu of much logic at all. 

I am a slave to the hysteria. I am enchanted by the potential collapse of our invisible Meccas like the stock market. How this invisible wrecking ball wreaks its havoc, I yearn to know. Call me twisted.

Society is a fragile thing. Maybe that’s what makes me so keen on watching the dominoes fall. Yes, I think this is the reason.

It’s the drifting about, suspended in a large body of water without knowing what lurks below. It’s the helplessness to stop whatever’s coming. 

Peacetime inhabitants forget their own fragility. So entrenched are they into the goings on of society’s fake norms that flesh and blood are no longer limitations. Money heals all wounds, traumas and diseases. With money, a man is akin to God.

Then one person gets sick with a catalyst. A cascade of circumstance blooms from an epicenter and encompasses every part of the globe. People die, infrastructure crumbles, hand sanitizer becomes a coveted jewel. The trivial shit that consumes daily life gets thrown out the window. An invisible enemy extends its influence, destroys norms with a cough or a sneeze. 

Turns out fortresses built out of paper crumble quick. 

Turns out, at the end of the day, Man is not as invincible as he thinks.

What makes COVID-19 so mesmerizing stems from the power it wields over us. Flesh and blood reveal their weaknesses. Coronavirus exploits them. The media runs with it, plants seeds in susceptible minds that the end times are here. We cannot interfere. All we can do is wait.

Wait and watch. Watch and enjoy. Paranoia makes for some great conversation starters.

Wash your hands. 


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